News & Media

Fight Free February Tip

By: Michelle Taylor

Category: Health & Safety, People

  8.46 AM 6 February, 2013

Location: CFA HQ News, General

Views: 2198

Sometimes all the strategies and tools in the kit feel like they're just too far away in the heat of the moment.

When this happens, especially when someone is expressing a view that seems diametrically opposed to your own, the simple sentence...

"oh that's interesting, how do you come to...feel/believe/understand/have that opinion?" can create spaciousness enough for both of you to step out of the spiral of destructive conflict.  

I refer to it as the James Bond effect.  Find the James Bond within; cool,
curious, a bit disinterested.  Laugh you may, but it works! Ultimately, attitude determines attitude so when you're ready to step out of the spiral of conflict, allow the curiosity of this simple sentence lead you away and to the next breath out.  

For those with just a tad more capacity to disengage in the moment, you're in luck!  Turn to the person and say "I'll get back to you on that point/issue/etc. I need to reflect a bit more on what you're saying..." and then if you can go for a walk or do something else to unwind your mind.  

Utilise this resource to turn a painful communication back into a conversation.  

Last Updated: 06 February 2013